i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
