Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
