They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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