Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
