Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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