dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
