At least make sure they are 18
Why
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
