Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
