Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
