PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
