Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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