so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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