I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
