I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
