I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
