Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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