The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
