What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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