Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
