I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize