he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize