apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
