i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
