Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
