I am puke
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
it was like eating out sand paper
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
