its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
