I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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