Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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