I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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