I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
