i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So vagazzling was a success
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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