i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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