saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
