I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
