If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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