did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
