hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
