College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
