well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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