If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
