he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
