Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
