I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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