Will you blow on my dice?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
