I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
