He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
