I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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