All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My dick has a subreddit
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
