he wants to bone in the snuggie
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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