i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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