oh god the rape fog is back!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
