4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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