you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
