I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
