I am spending my child support on dildos
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
