So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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