Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
