Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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