glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
