Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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